Why do we look for water on Mars?

"And we have created from WATER every living thing. Will they not then believe?", Q 21:30


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Sunday, February 13, 2011


I had it with this panic anxiety wtf.

I want to start a hobby tomorrow. I have cars in mind. And lots of friends. unfortunately will sacrifice some money also. Hey there is no such things as free lunch. Money can't buy me happiness.

it's not always about money.

Friday, February 11, 2011


Panic attack.

When Dr Farhana mentioned it, i did some reading on the internet. The symptoms matched, I think i'm experiencing that. But i don't understand, why me, i'm a teacher not a businessman, how tense could i be?

I reflect deeply last night and found out that, when something triggers worry, like common fever, gastric or hemorrhoids, bleeding while passing motions, i start worrying and feeling that ticklish at my left stomach, heart pounding and out of oxygen.

Just what kind of medication or treatment that i need to overcome this, panic attack, so far no doctor suggest me anything except to socialize and not to worry. If its my leg or hand that have problem, i will not worry much, but if its breathing, who wouldn't.

Saturday, February 5, 2011


Something happens to me.

I live alone. When thing got emotional, disturb or tense. suddenly i felt like catching an asthma, at first i thought it was a heart attack. My heart pound so hard that i could hear it with no artificial assistant and i hardly breath, like out of oxygen, the oxygen wouldn't come in through my left nostril and the feeling of uneasiness in my left stomach.

The first attack at 9 pm last two weeks, the second was on monday at 3.30 am three days after, the third, 4am on friday the following. The first occurrence i rushed to the nearest private clinic, after several test of ECG and others, the doctor said it was nothing, i went there twice and give up RM50 for nothing, no drugs given. The second and third i went to the ER of the government hospital, the ECG, X-ray and blood test also yield nothing, there 100% oxygen in my blood and the heart rate is normal.

The doctor said i'm physically healthy and advise me to stop worrying and socialize a bit more, go out, have some friends and do things together. I said i have been a hermit for a very long time and it didn't effect my health. the doctor said, that was before, now i'm already 30. The monday doctor gave me chlorpheniramine maleate 4mg, cold or flu remedy and i'm not catching any cold at that time?. the friday doctor have me drank a white liquid of gastric remedy, I ate 3 times that day? then talk me down to relax and discharge me.

When i told my colleagues at work, I have thought what they gonna say, 'If science cannot detect it then u dah kena buatan orang', Hahaha as suspected. I refuse to believe that, i think i'm unhealthy emotionally or psychologically. So i gave up a few things, politics (let others worry about the country) and solitude (time to share).

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


They're two kind of people, those who face their problem and those who wished their problem will go away. Problem that they themselves created. 

Some people borrowed money from me years ago. At that time we were student. It was in our early years at Uni.

All of us got PTPTN but only some has clear conscience while many don't. They get rid off their money in a week literally, through shopping, leisuring and jollying, and not on books.

After that they're declared broke, whence everybody's eat they don't, everybody buy book they don't. Problems come when, later they started bothering others for financial assistant, famous alibi, to eat, if we refuse, they'll hurt us with 'the true meaning of friendship and god favor who help the ill fortunate' sermone. Ill fortunate?!

Sems goes by, so as years but no sign of the sermoner paying back. Forgotten? I  Don't think so, the amount if based on current financial value at that time is kinda big, for a student. Until the last day at Uni eventually arrived. We all graduated and spread all over Malaysia if not the world.

 Until one day, wish sometimes do come true.


Recently we met again. He is currently working with the government. Risk free, lots of allowance and secured.

'how in the heaven u got here'

'chasing after my money lah what else?'

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