It has been two years since we broke up. But still i can't forget her. Every night we aways had a smiley long smses that end up with a smiley conversation on the phone that last the smile till morning. A childish woman at one end yet mature in the other, a woman who loves her family, can hold an intelligent conversation, confident but not stuck up, a positive woman.
Problem comes whenever i want to start a new relationship, at the flirting stage. I just can't go on, she always appear in my mind and take it strolling down the memory lane, triggered a few guilt resulted in me asking question of where is she now, what she's doing, what will be of her if i continue this relationship. In other word i can't forget her and still care for her wellbeing as if we ought to meet again and start everything all over.
But i do realize that is just hope. It has been two Decembers that i tried to approach her and tried to ask for her forgiveness and for a new fresh start, a new chance. But at the approach stage she's already neglected me and took off. She doesn't want to listen to me anymore. Which a relief for me at that moment, that now i can meet new people and start a new relationship but it wont last long before guilt come back knocking on my door, keeping me where i am, stuck, can't go forward or backward.
What am i to do? or it just me.