“Though we know death is certain, we have not prepared ourselves for it. Though we know paradise is definite, we have not worked for it. Though we know the hell fire is sure, we have not feared it. So why are you delighted? What are you waiting for? Death is the first visitor from the Almighty bringing good or evil tidings… get closer to your Lord.”4 ~Hamid al-Qasyrasi (rahimahullah)

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Monday, September 20, 2010

THE THREE PHASES IN RAISING CHILDREN


Once a parent asked me to scold his teenage child who he claimed is avoiding him. Apparently his teaming up to jump on his child. I asked the parent in return did he have any idea to why his child behave in that particular manner? He said because of bad influenced from his child company. Eventually, that what all losers do, blame others.

Islam proposes three phases in raising children, the first seven years after birth, the second seven years and the third seven years.

The first seven years, adores your child, play with them and talk to them, miss this, they won't talk to u later too much of this they'd turn aggressive and egocentric.

The second seven years, discipline them, after installing love and affection its time to discipline them, miss this, they won't respect you, too much of this u've just created a psycho.

The third phase begin at 13 or 14 years old, Islam encourages parents to be friend with their child as at this age they're pre-adult and delicate, despite closely monitored, respect their privacy, show that U trusted them, hear them out, miss this, they'll hate U, too much of this they'll turned wild.

This is the path of Islam, the path of peace, peace needs balance, balance needs pairs, both parent's rights and child's rights observed, no room for chaos. Walk its path, nothing goes wrong.

So why is your teenage child avoiding U? it's either u never talk to him when he was at the first seven years, or u jump to discipline him or u still treating him like a kid whereas his already a teenager. reflects man, reflects.

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